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i_am_your_ballz
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Name: tesha
Birthday: 6/29/1989
Gender: Female
Interests: CANDY, Twiggy, drugs, alcohol, clubbing, dancing, hanging out with The Sexies,... you know how it goes
Expertise: Fucking Your Shit Up Mothafuckaaaaa! Eating candy. Being Chibi and cute.
Occupation: Operations
Industry: Medical
Message: message me
Member Since:
7/28/2004
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| Don't waste your time:
I don't think anyone reads this anymore. I really don't care.
I'm fucking bored.
I'm aggrivated with boredom and other things of that sort.
I am tired of poeple, they really piss me off. I always find myself disappointed.
Alone or with friends I am always disappointed unless I am fucked up. Regardless of my efforts I am still surrounded by fake people. I hate being put in a situation where I have to be fake in order to avoid conflict.
Maybe I'm just a bitch. Maybe i am just cold, I don't give a fuck, I shouldn't have to pretend. That's not who I am and that's not who I want to be.
I don't care if people don't like me, people don't know me.
I have good friends. I have a good time with my friends. I hate people that come around and act like they fucking know me and my friends. We don't owe shit to anyone. Just because we fucking chill occasionally...It's not worth shit.
Lititz is stupid but everywhere is the same.
A lot of people are so naive and just plain stupid. Ignorant, so ignorant it amazes the fuck out of me and mostly just pisses me off.
Where have all these minds gone? Noone can think for themselves. People rebell so close to the fucking sidewalk, afraid to step in the road. I'm tired of hearing everyones stupid ideas and played out obscenities. I'm sick of hearing such simple things. It's so easy to think you're badass. Try saying something worth my fucking attention. Tell me something that will make me think, say something that's not so easy. Say something that wont be a waste of time for me to prove wrong. Say something that makes sense. Say something strong you'll still stand up for, even if everyone great in your pathetic mind disagrees. I hate people that say stupid shit to sound hardcore, but when it really comes down to it can't back it up. I hate people that lie about little things that don't even matter.
I don't know why, but it's like I can't even be happy anymore without putting someone else down. It doesnt even make me happy. I just do it. Mostly just to kill time. I guess I'm just a mean person. Maybe I'm just too bored.
Everybody is a fucking hypocrit, myself included. When I'm wrong i don't like to admit it. I still do. I hate people that start shit, then when it comes time and things are being resolved and poeple try to just drop it. It just makes things worse. Things build up and people pretend to be happy and just forget about it and then the next time shit happens you just end up feeling more hatred, more anger and resentment.
There are soo many things to do, and so many people to fuck it up. It's insane.
I can't fucking sleep anymore..not that I want to or even try. But I still can't.
I can finally see out of both eyes again. I found an old contact to use.
I'm sober and I have no way out of it.
I'm already pissed off. After hours of drunken fighting between my mom and Shawn (my mom starts stupid fights about nothing when she is drunk) She decided to take a bottle and a half of sleeping pills. We don't know for sure how many she took or what to do about it. She does stupid things. She makes stupid decisions. She is selfish, has been for a while, forever probably, and will be forever and she really makes me angry. We are debating calling an ambulance. If we do were pretty muched fucked(warrants and shit) she'll probably be commited for a while, Shawn will be locked up, I'll be in a shit load of trouble and noone will be here to take care of her Poppop and Keara. If we don't and something happens to her, I dont know what the fuck I'm going to do. It will be my fault. It will be Shawn's fault. It will be her fault.
I hate weak people. I am a weak person, but by far not the weakest I've seen. I don't let foolish emotions rule my life. The only emotion that controls me is anger. Does anyone have any fucking self control anymore.
If you're going to be stupid. Maybe you should just fuck off.
When I'm tired my eyes play tricks on me.
When I close my eyes I see horrible things.
And when I cry I don't feel real.
Because forced feelings are all too fast,
and these fake emotions never last.
All the sober things I can't remember
that my dark heart feels like December.
Asleep inside, wide awake
regardless of the pills I take.
You'll never see me.
See me smile?
THE END
-Tesha | | |
| Well.
I got a new house. Just started moving shit today, and tomorrow my mom's friends are coming to help us move the rest.
Where are we moving you ask?
Well.
I'll tell you.
I'll tell you where I am moving.
2 Fucking Blocks..... That's it. Two blocks away. Whyyyyy? Who the fuck knows.
THE HOUSE.
The stairs are teeny and hazardous, and we all hate them. My room pretty much sucks because it's the attic again Keara's DownSyndromeAss can't get the attic, so I'm stuck with it. The basement is gay and unfinished, but my parents are going to 'fix it up' so me and my 'friends' can chill there....So they say...To bad I don't have friends... Nextly, there's the rest of the house...It's okay but mostly just sucky...I Hate Lancaster County.
Then there's this thing I need to do called HouseWarmingParty....Fuck the house, and fuck the housewarming... I just wanna party. .^_^.
So I guess that's:
THE END.
and. P.s. If anyone even reads this...I'm prbably never updating again.(for a while)
-Tesha | | |
| Weekend was fun. Chilled with Trenton,Jess, and Rubies. Preeeety Much got fucked up the whole weekend. Saw Sarah,Cj,Dirty,Kyle,And Andy. Saturday we saw CKY at the Chameleon, it was clever, I wish we could have stayed longer and went into the crowd more, but it was still fun.
LittleMissSuicide[attempt] called me this weekend trying to..i dunno.. intimidate me or defend Heather or something. It was preeeety funny.
Weekend was fun.. Now im bored. And im tired..of being bored. And im bored of being tired.but theres nothing i can do about it.
THE END.
-Tesha | | |
| OMFG I Hate Lancaster County. There is nothing to fucking do here, and im seriously about to die..of boredom. I want to move closer to Philly, so i can hang out with my friends, and go to the club and shit, but nOOOOoooo. Mummsie has to be a fagg. were going to move to Lancaster which is going to suck harder than a FrenchWhore. >.<
But anywho...this weekend...MADD VLADI!!!!!!!! (there better be, or im gonna shank someone) ^^ haha thats a funny smiley lol. i should probably be doing some schoolwork...seeing as ive only done..NotThatMuch.
Buuuuuuut. Im too Lazy and Bored to concentrate so fuck it... i guess im going to go draw or something.
COMMENT FOOLS...or dont.
THE END.
-Tesha | | |
| Im Bored. Im bored. Im so Amazingly bored. I have a song from TheLionKing stuck in my head. What that has to do with boredom..I do not know , but im too bored to find out. I've been sitting in my Grandmas basement doing nothing for the past two weeks..And i am probably going to die by the time next weekend even gets here..and if i dont. Well perhaps i will go to SharonHill for a visit or something... But now x_x bored. I have a bunch of weed but noone to smoke with because everyone lives so Fucking FAR AWAY!!!! Why does jesus [my PersonalLordAndSaviour -^^-] hate me so??
All Jokes Aside. I am bored. o_o.
Anyways...To UPDATE: bleached my hair and it STILL isnt light enough to dye white... wtf dude? Talked to Heather today..she seems to have this NastyLittleDiseaseThinger xD.
Besides the ImmenseBoredom...shit's been pretty good.
Dempsey got put to sleep this morning. My sister's annoying. I want to party. Me, Chris, Leda, and Dani's tradition got fucked up by Drac's Ball..WE WERE SPOSED TO GET WASTED EVERY SATURDAY DAMMIT!!!! and now i havent drank in a few weeks...=_=. its not fair.
and on that note...I have to piss like a RaceHorse on the FourthOfJuly bahaha.
(Do horses even race on the fourth of july??)
THE END.
-Tesha | | |
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